Dear Single mom,
It is Mother’s day weekend and the perfect time to drop this blog. While I would never suggest to be on some quest to become a single mom and/or that this would be anyone’s fairytale come true. It has been heavy on my heart lately how society views single moms and the treatment that we receive as result of it. It has become detrimental to the emotional, mental and physical health of these moms. As I carried my last child (cause whew, baby let me tell you how I am done, done lol) I had joined a few mother’s and mom-to-be forums, a single moms forum being one of them. The amount of single moms who are carrying babies with so much heartache, anger, fear and overall negative energy, was none less than heartbreaking. I was troubled by the fact that bringing life into this world should be a beautiful act and you ladies were allowing yourself to be robbed of the beauty in the experience. So, I decided once I gave birth that I would be more intentional about including single moms in my give back and that is why this is my first blog post. Society will make you feel like a fuck up, make you feel unwanted, make you feel like a you’re bottom of the barrel and should be accepting of anything. Don’t let them. Truth is, you’re brave for choosing to give birth although you might have to do it alone. You’re resilient for carrying your family on your back by yourself. You’re smart to release yourself and your child from the perils of trauma that staying with the father could have added to your household. What society doesn’t know is there are many kids being raised in toxic household because women feel like having a dad around around is more important than a healthy environment. And that what she has to deal with in private is less harmful than having to live a life as a single mom to be judged by society. Single motherhood should not be viewed as some badge of shame to wear.
Understand as I write you this I know it’s not easy. My situation wasn’t ideal either. I was 38 when I found out I was pregnant by a man I was no longer seeing with. Just that fast I felt like my life was turned upside down. My youngest child was 12 at the time. For one quick second I felt low. Like you’re really too old to be making these mistakes. But since I was already on this spiritual journey to be a better me for me I knew while I had to own my bullshit, I also had to speak kindly to myself. I had to forgive myself and make one heavy decision. My decision was made simply because I didn’t feel like my embarrassment or other ppl’s feelings was a reason to abort the baby so I sucked it up, stood firm on my decision and protected my unborn child, mind, body and soul. I was aware whatever I felt, she would. I isolated myself in a heavy way. And tried to be at peace with my decision every moment of carrying her. Here it is 7 months later and I don’t regret it one bit. I’m exhausted but she is one of the happiest babies I know and she has caused me to look at life differently in so many ways.
I want you to remember doctors, lawyers, judges, athletes, teaches and even a president or so cane from single moms. Don’t be what’s missing from your child’s life. Take control of your thoughts now. YOU, right now, will be the soul reason your child is happy or sad. Everything is birth from the ground work of your spiritual presence. Be the light your child needs, stop doubting yourself, stop being ashamed, stop feeling sad because your child feels all of that. It’s never to late but start your journey and always, always be kind to yourself.
A grounded single momprenuer
The Vybe Collection